The Jade Range

The Jade Range is the act of calling your Significant other when they are on their way back from work and telling them that you are preparing dinner. You let the stove get hot and await their entry to the kitchen. When they arrive, you tell them to “come smell the food in the pan”. As he/she bends to smell the food in the pan, you defecate on the floor, break up with them, and say “Ta Ta!” as you graciously bow and walk out the door.