The Jew Meal

The consumption of a properly prepared Jewish person. Only the highest quality of cannibal cooks can be trusted to properly prepare this dish.

While there are several regional variations on the Jew Meal, especially in western Russia and southeastern Denmark, the most common variant originates in Albany, France. In this recipe the Jew is first plucked, leaving the yarmulke for last. Next the intestines are emptied and the entire body is soaked overnight in a broth of sea salt, cayenne pepper, diced green onion, minced artichoke heart, and vegetable oil. After the mixture has soaked in, the entire pan should be put into the oven and baked for 90 minutes at 450 degrees Fahrenheit. Serve with mixed vegetables and a red wine sauce.