The lone missionary
A sad depressing way of masturbation, in which a male is generally crying from loneliness, and is acting like he is in the conventional missionary position but using his hand instead of having a female present.
Man 1: Hey I just saw Ben, he is looking pretty depressed.
Man 2: Yeah I know, I guess he finally realized he is going to die alone and does is the lone missionary.
Man 2: Yeah I know, I guess he finally realized he is going to die alone and does is the lone missionary.