the michael

the act of a man performing fellatio on himself

1. Loving Subaru’s and rock climbing
2. Bowling so badly that’s it considered an epic failure
3. Being an amazing, stand up guy

When you meet a Michael, you will instantly fall in love with him. He can be very adorable at times whenever you are upset or just extremely hilarious. A Michael has a perfect personality. They are comedic, loving, caring, cute. They have such great personalities. He will hug you when you need one, even maybe kiss you. He doesn't mind anything at all and goes with the flow. Michael will be naturally good at anything. Sometimes you will think to yourself what makes a Michael so perfect? A Michael is just perfect, they'll do anything for the ones they care for. They hate to be violent, but will do so if they had to for protection etc. Overall, Michael is the best person you will ever meet. If something is wrong, don't worry Michael's got your back.

Of all the definitions, Michael might not fit all of them. He might not fit any. That's because Michael toes the line; every quiz puts him in the center, every chart shows him neutral. Michael can register as something different every day. He's self-defying; both energetic and lethargic, focused and dazed, in and out of shape, caring and distant. He is unique in his un-uniqueness. His default perfect balance. If you can nudge a Michael towards a positive side of the scale, you will have a friend for life who will always keep you guessing in the best ways. If you bump a Michael to the negative, pray, because you've made a dangerous enemy. One who is never predictable. Unless you apologize and make it better, because most Michaels are forgiving like that.

Sometimes.

In general, a Michael is a good friend to have due to their experiences; they are excellent at playing the crowd and mediating. One could start a war, and another could stop it. One could make a billion hate him, another could win them back over. Stick with him - who knows where he could take you?

to keep on being a fan of and supporting Michael Jackson.

From the Hebrew name מִיכָאֵל (Mikha'el) meaning "who is like God?". This is a rhetorical question, implying no person is like God. Michael is one of the seven archangels in Hebrew tradition and the only one identified as an archangel in the Bible.

The name most people instantly search on urban dictionary.
If your name is Michael, you're probably going "this is bullshit" on all the definitions.