The Protocols of the Alberts of Zion
The anti-Semitic conspiracy theory that Marv, Ken, and Steve control the world of sportscasting.
Protocol 1: There are no good Jewish Athletes except Sandy Koufax, and there are many Jewish sportscasters who continually give us nerdy statistics about sports on a daily basis. This shows that the Protocols of the Alberts of Zion is a real conspiracy that keeps gentiles from commenting on sports.