The Sticky Lumberjack

Cut a pine in half length-wise, and then cut in down more on the sides so that it is more javelin shaped.(at this point there should be sap dripping from the inside of the pine.) then have two of your friends hoist your road beef by the legs so that she is doing a upside down split. Then from any distance that you are comfortable with, huck your homemade javelin in to your unsuspecting girl's uterus. Then precede to use it as a dildo.

When you take you dick and pour Maple syrup or Hunny which ever you prefer all over it. then once that is done stick you penis in sugar. Now that your penis is covered with sugar and maple syrup. now just have (preferred sex) suck that shit right off. = )