The Stoner

Unzipping your pants and pissing to the side while walking with a group of people. so you don't have to stop and people don't have to wait for you.

Two belgium waffles smeared with nutella, served with easymac, cheetos and a drink of your choice.

a person who lights a spliff, sits back, and reads all the defintions for a stoner on this website and see how much of it actually applies to them. and then laughs at how true some of them are. now wheres the lighter.

A stoner is a peaceful, relaxed, nice guy/gal who likes to smoke the funky 'erb! Stoners are usually seen in small groups of 3 or 4 and sometimes in pairs. They generally have slightly bloodshot eyes (or red eye) when baked, and always wear a little smile. A stoner is not to be confused with a pothead. Potheads are a lot more dependant on weed and aren't as chilled as stoners.

Stoners enjoy socialising and laughter and being with their friends. They typically wear an open shirt and a t-shirt. They often own a pair of canvas shoes, well worn in by the numerous stoner adventures the wearer has been on! Stoners generally walk slowly and are very rarely pissed off, tending to be peaceful and relaxed. They are nearly always broke and when the next paycheck comes their way, it all gets spent immediately on the herb. Stoners generally don't mind this as their money has been spent on weed and they recognise that the best things in life are free, except mary jane which is worth all their money! They are also known for frequently using words like "dude" and "bro" and are often in need of snacks like doritos and a drink of something.

Stoners will always have their closest friends but when they meet fellow stoners, even if they have never met before, it's like meeting family. Stoners have a beautiful union and truly see eachother as one global family. They all tend to have a mutual distrust and dislike of their opressors such as government and the police (or the "pigs").

1. Someone who reads the definition of stoner when they are high.
2. Someone who write a definition for the word stoner when they are high.

The religion of stonerism; the belief that marijuana cures most physical ailments, the belief that the world would be a better place if everyone freely smoked weed; Stoners often believe marijuana is safter and a better high than alcohol.
practices include: smoking pot daily, frequently smoking out friends, occasionally smoking out strangers, wake-and-bake, temporarily doubting the wonders of weed before a sesh, moderate to obsessive praise of weed while or soon after getting high, the dillema between packing another bowl and getting up to ash the piece.
Non-smoking practices (edibles or a vaporizer) are usually combined with smoking practices in Stonerism unless a temporary physical ailment makes it impossible or hazardous to participate in the act of smoking.

See: Stoner- a person practicing Stonerism
Special Abilities of Stoners:
good functionality under the influence of marijuana, fluid thinking, the ability to understand concepts by a leap of logic or mild hallucinations, the rare/occasional and surprising ability to word a sentence elloquently while stoned.

somebody that smokes weed. here are the different types of stoners

Drop-Out Stoner Stereotype.

This is the most common stereotype. Drop-out stoners didn't graduate from high school because they skipped most of their classes. They were always getting into trouble and sneaking around. You'd find a drop-out stoner in the bathroom trying to hide his smoke. They usually sounded like they had accents from California and they never washed (or changed) their clothes. They drove really crappy cars (usually vans with a mattress in the back) and were always getting tickets. The police usually knew them by name.

Drop-out stoners usually had lots of room mates. That's because most of them couldn't keep their fast food or movie theater jobs. And the only reason they wanted a job was to buy more weed. They were always late to work and looked like they had just woken up even if it was 9 in the evening. They didn't talk about much other than marijuana and getting high. They usually didn't own products like shampoo or toothpaste and thought of such objects as secondary to the weed they wanted. They would only buy weed in nickel or dime <myspace>size</myspace> bags and always owed a bunch of money with promises to pay back later.

The drop-out stoner was the typical stoner of the movies. They never had girl friends, they played jokes on the jocks, and they dropped out of school.

Morbid Stoner Stereotype.

The morbid stoner always listened to metal and pinned up pentagrams on their black walls. They wore black t-shirts with metal band logos and blue jeans (dressing up consisted of a wrinkled button up shirt). They usually tried to grow their hair long and had weird fascinations with chain mail armor and dragons. For whatever reason, the morbid stoner was always obsessed with evil. They had bongs shaped like skulls, they lit black candles, and usually collected knives and horror flicks. They always seemed to smoke Marlboro cigarettes and 9 times out of 10 had a Zippo lighter. And even though they were obsessed with the occult and anything evil, they were usually pretty nice and easy to get along with (which never made a lot of sense).

The morbid stoner usually always bought a quarter bag and never owed much money. They usually bought an older car and tried to fix it up some. They would tend to stay up at night and sleep late. And they'd always be talking about getting tickets to the next metal concert that was coming into town. They were laid back and always seems just a slight bit arrogant. They were nice but they really didn't give much of a crap about what you were saying. The world was against them in their eyes and for whatever reason, they had to stick together to fight the war of society.

Did I mention that they usually could do hand drawings of really evil stuff that looked amazing?

Hippie Stoner Stereotype.

You knew this one was coming. The hippie stoner was always the happy stoner. They were always the most fun to get stoned with. They liked colorful music, decorations, and clothes. They always had things laying around that would make your mind work overtime after you smoked some of their really good stuff. They were peaceful and loving. They didn't judge anyone except the authorities that made the laws banning their life.

The hippy stoner had black lights, tie die shirts, leather fringes, beads, and their place always smelled a little funny (not necessarily good or bad). They eventually got into piercings and a little more modern music. Still, their favorite music was the 60's and they always wanted to know how to play some obscure musical instrument. They seemed to have hints of some weird religion. They always got hand-me-down furniture that was broken in and comfortable.

The hippy stoner was happy about life and made the best out of the situations they faced. They usually had health food and loved anything natural. For whatever reason, make-up and hair gel was not their friend. They always knew about this weird stuff to do when you got sick or hurt yourself. Life was never dull with the hippie stoner.

Party Girl Stoner Stereotype.

The party girl stoner isn't necessarily of the female gender. They got their name because where they congregate, there will usually be more women than men. This group usually included college students, jocks, strippers, waiters/waitresses, people who frequent clubs or bars, and Christian smokers.

This is the second most clickish group one can find. You'd be lucky if they thought about inviting you. The party girl stoner is always showing some amount of skin or making sexual references. They are incredibly beautiful people and are incredibly materialistic. They can also be incredibly funny and goofy when having one of their many parties. They tend to use and run over people and are arrogant. They are social machines and a good percentage of what they talk about is gossip, revenge, or how someone did them wrong at their work. They usually have hot tempers because they are spoiled and they already know this (sometimes they are proud of this).

The party girl stoner is also a good drinker. Half the time, they are drunk when they are stoned. They love shopping malls and are usually middle or upper class. They are always fighting with their significant other and there tends to be a significant amount of drama associated with their immediate lives (especially their mother or father for some reason). They watch a lot of TV and love the most popular top-40 music. They are trendy, popular, and they usually lack a sense of spirituality.

Pimp Stoner Stereotype.

The pimp stoner is usually not a pimp (of course). They are laid back and relaxed. They take life as if comes to them. They are engrossed in their culture and are usually somewhat close to family members (who may or may not smoke with them). The pimp stoner is usually focused on a certain <myspace>style</myspace> to the point where it wastes time and energy and they aren't fast to make decisions. They are usually low to mid income and they are the third hardest click to get into.

The pimp stoner is one of the few stoners who love athletics and outside. They are overly concerned with their clothes and cars so they can impress their friends. They ask a lot of favors from each other and borrow a lot from each other. One can say this group really sticks together. They also tend to cuss a lot and most of the time they roll joints. They don't waste a lot of time on bongs or pipes.

And if you smoke with the pimp stoner, relax. It's going to be a while before he finally takes a drag and passes that thing around.

Corporate Stoner Stereotype.

This guy is sharp. He's dressed up in his suit or uniform and he's all about business. He's hiding back in his hotel room smoking a joint and hiding it from most of the people he knows. He spends a lot of time in bars and will hang out a lot with the party girl stoners.

This is the most difficult click to get into, period. They can be arrogant, rude, self-centered, pushy, and down-right back stabbing. They usually have one or two guys they hang out with most of the time and they spend a lot of time in the bar. They have a need to succeed and they are interested in number one so if they think you are going to rat them out, they'll destroy you. You can't tell who they are because they don't tell anyone they smoke. They are tiny secret societies and even the drug dealers don't usually like them because they are worried about getting caught.

Nerd Stoner Stereotype.

The nerd stoner is a little more rare than the other groups. They love to get stoned and work on their computers. They can do all kinds of incredible things and they usually are the ones who write books.

They never stop... they are always building a bigger bong, rolling a longer joint, or doing something you've never seen before. This group is the easiest to join but not to get along with because the debates, research, computer time, attention deficit disorder, and weird quirks can wear on some people. They love life and are somewhat pessimistic about people. They are more prone to spill your bong water or salivate all over the joints they smoke. They are a weird and true breed with a mix of chaos and security.

They love junk food and their house is usually a disaster. They collect junk that you thought no one could use until they made a bong out of it that worked disturbingly well. They are funny, difficult, and sincere and they cherish their friends. Their house usually smells weird because they haven't taken out the trash or done any laundry in a decade or so. They love life, blue skies, and have ten million good ideas they'll never finish. The nerd stoner is one of the nicest guys you can smoke with and they usually like to hang with the hippie stoners.

Gamer Stoner Stereotype.

While very closely related to the Nerd Stoner Stereotype, the Gamer Stoner is a very interesting breed. They can have undertones of any of the stereotypes listed, save for the Party Girl. They love to get stoned and play games. More often than not, Marijuana is the Gamer Stoner's 'Spinach'. They get super-human video game powers whilst they are stoned and playing games.

The Gamer Stoner is indeed a hardcore gamer. Sometimes Gamer Stoners have a tough time finding their own kind. But once two Gamer Stoners find eachother, it's like they're old friends. They get along well with most other stereotypes, with the exception of the Party Girl. Gamer Stoner's often wish they could put them out of their misery. They have interesting quirks and interesting vocabulary. Often heard is the expression 'w00t!'. And most of the time the Gamer Stoner is very figity with his hands.

Gamer Stoners are very cool people and are very laid back. They enjoy movies, tv, and of course, Games. When you walk into a Gamer Stoner's pad, you'll quickly notice the top notch entertainment center along with the latest consoles, PC, and games. The gamer stoner is always looking for ways to make something louder, faster, and/or stable. They never throw away boxes and always have electronics and stereo equipment that 'is going to get fixed this weekend'.

The Gamer Stoner usually have a job that makes them enough money to live nicely and have the latest gear. Some Gamer Stoners actually become a part of the game industry. They also are very into music, technology, and exotic pets.

You can usually find these guys at LAN Parties, Pro Wrestling Events, 20-Something Bars, Software stores, music events, festivals, and of course, Raves.

They generally smoke out of everything. They have just as much pride in their paraphenalia as they do in their games and electronics. They generally go through an eighth or two a week.