The Tanner

Someone who rapes children.

Tannerism is a religion based on a set of core principles: the mini-dab, poorly formed puns, expert puns, and the Most Holy student teacher in existence. His state of holiness was discovered when one of his students realized a correlation between him and Jesus Christ: they both were present in the Beginning, both came back to teach us important concepts, and both shall come back some day. In Tannerism, there is a holy trinity that consists of A Man Named Zucc, Tanner, and the Amazon Box Man. Since it was formed recently (March 14, 2019), there is not much information currently in the public domain.

(Separate from the Anti-Mormon institution. One of the newly created rules of Tannerism states that all should respect Mormons, and never eat them or their books.)

To do nothing constructive.
To do a completely half-assed job, usually before a deadline that needs to be met.

Tanner is the guy anyone can find attractive , mainly because of his unique personality. Hes so sweet, tall, usually found to have brown or blonde hair and has a soft spot with certain people, but he also can get angry and upset easily so watch out. He can be a player at times but he wont if hes with the one he wants

A Tanner is a man of great magnitude, comparable to the gods themselves. He never ceases to amazing those around him. If there was a book written about his life, it would be split into two sections; before you read his book and after, it’s that life changing. If that book were to go to audio tape, Morgan Freeman would be required to be the narrator. On a scale of one to ten, he is easily a certified twenty. P Diddy wakes up feeling like him. I assure you he is extremely better looking than Mick Jagger, yet he never gets kicked to the curb. Oh, and his moves are far more superior. He has to keep a fence around his house at all times, because no matter what he is making in the kitchen, people all around try to get in his yard, and trust me, it is better than yours. He has a ranch full of baby panda bears, ligers, and humpback whales that he is teaching to perform Hamlet. His intelligence surpasses that of Socrates, Einstein, and Steven Hawking combined. His writing is as elegant as Shakespeare, but as pleasing as Dr. Seuss. If given the choice between eternal happiness and a Krispy Kreme doughnut, he’d take the doughnut because it’s something he doesn’t already have. If his life were a movie, Spielberg, Bay, and Lucas would all direct it. He is often called Superman. Not because he is super humanly strong (though he is very strong) or can fly, but because Kryptonite is his only weakness. If there were one word to describe Tanner, it would be ‘Scrumtrulescent’.

Tanner has a huge heart for everyone. Tanner has very few friends. He’s the guy who always keeps his head up, but has been pushed down so many times by others that he has a drive like no other. Nobody appreciates him. He’s always been rejected. This made him think he wasn’t good enough. It’s why he got extremely good at everything. Its hard to get Tanner to dislike you. Tanner appreciates everything. He is probably the most attractive person I’ve ever met. He has a perfect body. He is also good at every single sport. He is incredibly fast and has superhuman strength. Tanner is the TOUGHEST person I’ve ever met. Though Tanner hates fighting. If you try to fight him he will destroy you. You will find him practicing for a sport or working out. He will still drop everything for the ones he loves. He has gone through a lot. If you hear someone hate on Tanner it’s probably a lie because he doesn’t have much about him to hate on. He is a freaking genius. He will say things that you think about and remember forever. He knows tons. He’s surprisingly one of the wisest people you’ll meet. He knows lots about everything. He has a lot bringing him down. He’s gotten strong enough to live life and help everyone else first with the knives in his back and the weight stacked. If Tanner shows sadness somethings seriously wrong. He will smile at you with a tear in his eye so you don’t cry. Tanner is great give him a chance.

One hot mother fucker, messy hair and a jawline that’ll cut diamonds. Type of guy to get any girl to fall in love with him without even trying. Is really good at sports.