The Universal Language of Nothing
The language used for global mass distribution of products that ultimately communicates nothing to everyone. i.e. What IKEA assembly instructions are written in or the language your remote control keys utilize.
"Dude, I spent two hours staring at IKEA instructions this weekend. For the life of me, I cannot grasp the Universal Language of Nothing!"
"How do you get this remote to work? I don't speak the Universal Language of Nothing."
"How do you get this remote to work? I don't speak the Universal Language of Nothing."