Bill Monkey

After a child is snatched from the nursery by William Hogchild Monkey, his replacement is always a monkey human hybrid, or a “Bill Monkey.” Telltale signs include but are not limited to the following; a tail (often removed), a hairy back and chest, grunting when food is served, bowel habits that can suffocate mere mortals, and a proclivity for buggery and the TV show Family Guy. Needless to say, bananas are often his favorite food and a desire to pick pimples and nits from his being.