This One Time In 8th Grade
When a hot chick is on you and you are about to lose your moyd or have to tend to your intestinal calling, tell your friend "this one time in 8th grade" and he will tackle her or otherwise remove her bodily threat.
(Your stomach cramps and then discharges) Uh this one time in 8th grade.... <TACKLE> *Friend rushes to his bathroom and is saved*