Thomas Solakof

A gender confused member of the ape family, vaguely reminiscent of the Wookie from 'Star wars' by George Lucas.

A Thomas will often try and assault those around him if they are excelling in something he is incapable of, E.G soccer, conversation and sex.

Thomas's family tree is literally a straight line, he is descended from a Romanian pole dancer and a Somalian pirate, when the pirate died however, the pole dancer kept the family blood alive by having sex with her son, thus starting the family of inbreds, doubtless Thomas will soon be impregnated by his father and will continue the tradition.