Tinned Pilchard
When a Raccoon (usually of the Portuguese variant) breaks in to your home and defecates on the kitchen floor. Usually, having been attracted by the smell of cheese and ham crackers.
Steve: “Oh for fuck’s sake Tom, have you had a shit on the kitchen floor?”
Tom: “it wasn’t me, it must have been another tinned Pilchard incident”
Tom: “it wasn’t me, it must have been another tinned Pilchard incident”