Tomeu

A Tomeu is basically a Catalan penis (also know as "butifarra"). Every one needs a Tomeu in their life.
I met a Tomeu in a time of need and he was a massive help - he switched underwear with me after I shit my pants once.
He used to live in a hotel room.

Tomeu is the best person you can meet, he is as handsome as he is intelligent, having him by your side will always be comforting, you can trust him and go with any problem he will always be there to support you, any human would want to be like him.