tortuga

a place that, in theory, doesn't exist-- you can only find it if you've been there before. nobody knows the exact location of it, or how to get there, unless somebody else knows the way. you can't ask for directions how to get there either.

Tortuga describes a person who is very studious and cares a lot about grades and studying.
Originally derived from studious people who wear big backpacks as high up as possible, making them look like a turtle, tortuga has now come to describe any person who is exceptionally scholarly and hard-working.

The spanish word for turtle or tortoise. Used to describe someone that works/moves extremely slow.

"I feel like I'm in the twilight zone"

"You're on tortuga time. Welcome to the suck"
An unavoidable phenomenon that prevents you from arriving at your destination on time. There is no stopping it and can only be accepted - it's going to happen. Even if you attempt to leave earlier, some greater force prevents you from being on time. Just accept the inevitable, you're on Tortuga Time.

A mythical male animal - boyfriend of the female Tortugita - and king of the drug underworld.

A U.S. national park in the Gulf of Mexico. Also known to a group of unfortunate few, the act of dry heaving out of your ass. This usually happens after a long episode of watery diarrhea. Your ass opens, goes through all the motions, your sphincter may even prolapse a little, but nothing at all comes out! And if you listen closely, you may even hear your butt hole open and shut as is fails to discharge any fecal matter.

When your girl's laying on her back but isn't in the mood and won't let you past the shell.