trombone

An instrument whose players can, unlike tuba players, actually keep time. Originally designed as an improvement on the trumpet, the trombone turned out to be an improvement on all other instruments as well. A single trombonist can, and will outplay many small string ensembles. For every time a trombonist hits fortissimo, a man gets a hard on somewhere, and three women lose their virginity...twice. Also considered by many to have magical properties.

1. A low brass instrument with a slide. All other instruments may mock this wonderous creation, but deep down inside, they all wish that they could play a trombone.
2. One who plays a trombone. These people are generally the coolest people in the band and, during a pep band, are the true spirit of the band.

The trombone is a brass instrument found within the low brass section of the band. The trombone, when held in playing position, extends forward from the mouthpiece, then curves back around at (Usually) just past the length of the musician's arm, then returns, passing the player's head, and curves once more, passing the head again, and opens up into the bell of the instrument. The trombone has seven positions, cleverly name: 1st-7th position. Each of these said positions extends from 1st, where the slide is completely retracted, moving out at specific intervals, although the intervals may change slightly to accept slight variations in pitches, until it reaches the seventh position and the player's arm is fully extened, exposing the 'sox' of the slide.

Having 'bone' in the name(Also a common nickname), the Trombone has been used in many differant innuendos, the general reactions are laughter(Most in the section), disgust(Several outside the section), or confusion(Sousaphone Players).

"In my opinion the trombone is the true head of that family of wind instruments that I have named the epic one. It possesses nobility and grandeur to the highest degree; it has all the serious and powerful tones of sublime musical poetry, from religious, calm and imposing accents to savage outbursts. Directed by the will of a master, the trombone can chant like a choir of priests, threaten, utter gloomy sighs, a mournful lament or a bright hymn of glory, they can break forth into awe-inspiring cries and awaken the dead or doom the living with their fearful voices."
-Hector Berlioz, Treatise on Orchestration

The best low brass instrument in existance! trombones rock

The most awesome brass instrument in the world.

Uses a slide to change notes.

Evolved from the ancient sakbut, the first brass instrument able to play a chromatic scale.

Has the same range as the Euphonium, or Baritone, usually based in the key of B flat.

Has many varieations such as the soprano, alto, tenor (the normal trombone), and bass trombone (which is also amazing).

"Trombone" means paperclip in spanish.

the perfectest instrment in the band/orcastra, better than all of those evil gay instruments

for a woman to rim (lick) your ass, while reaching around and jerking you off