Turd Robber

So you're at a party, taking a huge dump. But this dump is probably six Katie Courics or higher!

Without flushing, you wash your hands and go downstairs to show your bros.

You just walk into the bathroom with your bros when suddenly - a TURD ROBBER.
He was sitting on the toilet, pretending he was the one who dropped your kids off at the pool. That bastard.