turpiscryer
(foreboding, scry, turpitude, woe), someone who practices or specializes in using the Crystal-ball Of Turpitude; someone who anticipates, senses, or predicts ill or dangerous consequences, unless some prescribed action is taken; foretelling worst-case scenario's based on gut feelings; an influential factor in or aspect of doom or woe mongering.
Summon the turpiscryer & tell us what there is to be afraid of this week.