Twigmata

Penile marks, sores, or sensations of pain corresponding in location to the crucifixion wounds of Jesus Christ on or around the male genitalia, usually subsequent to tmies when males anger their girlfriends, thus commencing the crucifiction of the male member.

The crucifixion may occur upon any small, wooden cross (ie popsicle sticks). The package may be adhered to the cross via nails, glue, tacks, screws, or piping hot wax.