Tyler, Texas

The dirty asshole of Texas. A place crawling with soccer moms that look like, and worship, Sarah Palin. Tyler is a dry county, so the Baptists drive 20 minutes to the county line to get their booze, so as to avoid tainting their reputation around town. Despite being located in the Bible Belt and serving as a hub for retirees, Tyler is a great place to find drugz. Typical hangouts include: the mall, the Hollytree parking lot, and your rich friend's house in Hollytree.

Tyler is no longer a dry city as it turned damp in the last election. A group of city leaders, including Tom Mullins--Head of Economic Development, campaigned for Finish the Ballot to allow for the sale of beer and wine for takeout. Critically acclaimed Stanley's BBQ had a fund-raiser with three bands, a buffet, and yard signs. Cries of prohibition ended 80 years ago rang out through the city. Admittedly, one Baptist church unsuccessfully tried to have the proposal banned from the ballot. The hypocrisy and waste of gas to drive so far is over, unless you want liquor. As for the worship of Sarah Palin, President Obama lost 73-26 to R-money in Smith County! No Democrat has carried the county for president since Harry Truman. Don't blame me.

The worst "city" in the great state of Texas. Located in a dry county, this is a great place for families and retirees but one of the worst cities in America for young single men. One of the adverse side effects of living in this city for an extended amount of time is that an unhealthy increase in masturbation is observed in 73% of the population. It is also located in Bible country, which is contradicting due to the fact that God would never create such a horrible place.

The armpit of East Texas. A conservative ran city with nothing but Churches, shitty restaurants, movie theaters, and the town icon-Andys. They call it the "Rose City" but indeed it should really be the "Bitch City" because everybody there is a bitch. The city is so small you can go to any area of the town and see someone you know. A typical Tyleridian male will look 5'10, confident, blonde, carrying a bible and a gun, and will try and talk to you about how cool he is and then later ask you to go to Bernard's and then Andys. Common school stereotypes include: Gorman- the Catholic virgins, All Saints- the snobby and preppy partiers, Brook Hill- the jocks, Grace- the average hoes, and Lee-the only public school with starting white boys on football