UCLA Student
A person that wishes they could be a Trojan, but will never admit it. They will often badmouth the Trojans, claiming to be superior to them, when in truth they know that being a Bruin sucks large hairy testicles (however, many Bruins do not understand this to a be a punishment, as they enjoy sucking testicles).
Trojan #1: Hey look at that group of dudes over there sucking each other's testicles and crying.
Trojan #2: Huh, they must be UCLA students.
Trojan #2: Huh, they must be UCLA students.