Unfit Mike
A fat, vile, and disgusting male specimen. Usually a truck driver or pseudo cowboy. An Unfit Mike smells of taco bell and Miller Lite, and spends vacations in an hourly-rate motel. He masturbates vigorously to Garth Brooks songs and blows his trucker horn at crab infested women in convertibles.
Look at that big fat guy! He shoots up with butter and pays women to pee on his chest! What at Unfit Mike!