University of Warwick

The university of taking your money whilst shoving its fist up your arse.

Believes that every disciplinary matter should be solved by issuing the student with a hefty fine (regardless of blame), and that every item sold on the campus should cost at least twice as much as anywhere else.

Also believes that by making students pay £450 for a year's parking permit, the university is somehow going to single-handedly save the environment. (this is a load of bollocks - the money goes to fund the VC's collection of Bentleys).

Amusingly, the VC's name is Nigel Thrift.

A British campus university. Based, rather confusingly, just outside of Coventry and 10 miles away from Warwick, nearby towns include Leamington Spa and Kenilworth.

Academically sound (apart from Theatre Studies), socially inept and more corporate than Starbucks. But it's rich.

Very large Students Union, lots of waterfoul and a higher proportion of international students than is probably necessary. But they're rich too.

American Vice Chancellor who wants to take over the Far East and redefine himself in the image of Blofeld before he leaves; but that's OK because he's (probably) richer than everyone!

A university of socially inept people who definitely can't ski (hence why they lose to Loughborough at every ski race). People who lack banter and often can't speak English. Trying to be a university but is just a small college in Coventry.