Useless as a damp SQUID
SQUID is the acronym for a superconducting quantum interference device. It measures very small magnetic fields and is rendered useless when wet due to its very sensitive nature. Also, used as a massive Fuck You to all those pedant bitches who think it should be "squib". I mean, just who do you think you are? A 16th century musketeer?
Mate, you've not only missed the goal you've missed the ball altogether! Sometimes I think you're as useless as a damp SQUID.