Vicarious Beard Growth
Vicarious beard growth is the attempt of helping your own beard grow by staring at pictures of people with awesome beards. It should be noted that this is a myth. It does not work. This has been researched and proven by expert and awesome beard owner David Denison, who is well credited and a pioneer in his field, despite being a Michigander.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Your beard's looking a little patchy, man.
Guy 2: I know! I've been trying to fill it out, but the vicarious beard growth just doesn't seem to be working!
Example 2:
Guy 1: Man, I've been trying for a month, but my beard still won't grow!
Guy 2: Have you tried vicarious beard growth?
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: You know, putting up pictures of awesome beards to inspire your own.
Guy 1: *pauses* Are you high?
Guy 1: Your beard's looking a little patchy, man.
Guy 2: I know! I've been trying to fill it out, but the vicarious beard growth just doesn't seem to be working!
Example 2:
Guy 1: Man, I've been trying for a month, but my beard still won't grow!
Guy 2: Have you tried vicarious beard growth?
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: You know, putting up pictures of awesome beards to inspire your own.
Guy 1: *pauses* Are you high?