vintage fart

on certain occasions, after one has consumed a particularly elegant meal—for example, of curried mussels with sausages, french fried potatoes, and port wine drunk from pig's bladders—one may seek to capture the essence of one's gaseous excretions in a flask. this typically happens only once or twice in a decade. the very best farts are known "body-spirits," or "esprit-de-corps," in the original french. such ripples will gain in complexity during the years they spend in the bottle, acquiring notes of dogshit, turpentine, penis sweat, and shark farts.