Von-St. Aubinomics

Developed by the great M. Von St. Aubin, Von-St. Aubinomics (Now knows as the VSA5) are a set of 5 Postulates that can explain any news story. They can also provide a foundation for understanding events in your personal life, well… his personal life anyway. The first three deal directly with understanding news, the final two speak to personal life, and they only apply to M. Von St. Aubin himself. 
When asked why he included Postulate 4 and 5 if they only apply to him, M. Von St. Aubin replied simply: “cuz I want the gub-ment to know that I know.”
 
The VSA5 in their entirety:
Postulate 1: The Government is not to be trusted, thus ALL government data are lies.
Postulate 2: The laws of Supply and Demand are hogwash; they are two completely unrelated phenomenon.
Postulate 3: All big business (e.g. Banks, Oil, especially Google) are coconspirators of the government and by extension of Postulate 1, cannot be trusted, and all big business data are also lies.
Postulate 4: My personal information is MINE, and you can’t have it. This holds true even if providing my personal information will have some benefit me financially or to my health.
Postulate 5: Entitlement is the most important right. I should get everything for free.