Wallywat
A small translucent parasitic worm that lives amongst Labor politicians' rim giblets. They prefer to attach themselves to politicians who have a zest for human rights abuse. Also known as a "PRGuy17", they emit strong pheromone which is hazardous to functioning brain cells, and can often attract humans with a lower level of intelligence. When approached, they are known to act is if they're about to leave, but then stay around and linger like a bad smell.
Dan was broken, naked and spreadeagled at the bottom of the outdoor stairwell, and you could see wallywats licking at the little wads of soiled toilet paper in his fractured crusty bum crack.