Wax the Poop Deck
A man with loose bowel movements sqauts over his wife with authority and proceeds to defacate explosively all over her chest and stomach, then proceeds to squat down further making contact with his ass and balls, spinning counterclockwise three times like a floor wax polisher for a nice even darkened tanned finish.
Honey, go finish your chili and then get in here and wax the poop deck.