windburn

Winter's answer to sunburn. During the winter, low temperatures and high winds can cause skin to dry out excessively, losing the top layer of oil that normally protects it. The skin swells up slightly, turns red, and stings like sunburn.

Windburn can be treated fairly easily by applying vaseline or chap stick (to ease the burning sensation), using aloe moisturizers, and treating the skin with care for a few days. It can be prevented by covering and protecting exposed skin (especially ears, lips, and nose), switching to mild soaps and cleansers (preferably moisturizing soaps), and avoiding long stretches of exposure when the wind chill is particularly strong.

Excessive air contact to the asshole via too many farts