work@home

Government service jargon and employee shorthand for defrauding taxpayers. Used as a noun, and certainly never as a verb, it describes a state-of-being generally accompanied by euphoria and giddiness from stealing from the “man.” Except, in this case, it is not the “man”, it is the people. The state-of-being derives from sweet contracting side gigs while sitting at home on the government dime, saving both on childcare and gasoline for your new sweet SUV that you only have drive to “work” two days a week.

Although the state-of-being is generally continuous, it is sometimes interrupted by home chores, trips to Sam’s Club, meetings with side gig clients, and lines at Starbucks. The state-of-being is highly contagious among peers, and newcomers are taught to be giant assholes by the veterans until the impotent management says “fuck it, I’d rather these turds stay at home in bliss than interrupt my web surfing, and if I am the only one at work, it makes me look important.”

A euphemism popular in the corporate world, signifying a person who spends the day furiously masturbating, pausing only occasionally to answer emails as quickly as possible to convince colleagues he/she is in fact hard at work on company matters.

What to do if a single snowflake falls out of the sky. (Src: The Valve Employee Handbook)

Tell your boss your working from home but you actually do a bunch of personal stuff like online gaming with the other IT folks who are "working" from home.

Appearing to work from home whilst actually drinking beer in the shower

Working from home sounds ideal, and there are some benefits; your commute is very short, you can sleep in later, you can work in casual clothes, or maybe even your birthday suit. But the downside is, you will be stuck in the house more, your social interaction with other people is reduced by a lot. Also, if your job is stressful or involves conflict, that will now be in your home. Makes it harder to separate home life from work life.

It should've been like working in between breaks from life but it is rather living in between breaks from work