You Gotta Be Kidding Me

A term frequently used by people in the northeastern U.S. when they're getting screwed so bad it's out of the realm of comprehension.

the first thought that comes in the head of an Emergency room physician when attending to a college girl who has just come in to the E.R. attempting to explain that the reason she has a cucumber broken off up in her twat is because she was making a salad in the buff, slipped, and fell on top of it.