Bob's Your information Minister
A homer fan who frequents a rival sports team's fan site (e.g. orangemane.com), and who:
1. Spreads optimistic lies about his own team even though the obvious evidence of massive failure has been cascading down around him and his team for decades;
2. Lives in his mother's basement (even though she lives in a trailer),
3. Has never held a steady job, unless you count buying and selling Star Wars memorabilia on eBay a steady job,
4. Has never, ever kissed a girl he isn't related to and likely never will.
1. Spreads optimistic lies about his own team even though the obvious evidence of massive failure has been cascading down around him and his team for decades;
2. Lives in his mother's basement (even though she lives in a trailer),
3. Has never held a steady job, unless you count buying and selling Star Wars memorabilia on eBay a steady job,
4. Has never, ever kissed a girl he isn't related to and likely never will.
You're moving to Kansas City? Dude, there nothing more pathetic than that. That's totally Bob's Your Information Minister.