Boner Race
A contest in which 2 or more people see who can achieve an erection first without visual or physical stimulation. These contests are generally announced at random and proven simply by showing the bulge in the pants. A boner race can not be announced if a contestant already has an erection. All contestants must start completely flaccid (this is of course based on the honor system). Cheating is grounds for immediate disqualification from all future boner races. The integrity of the sport must be upheld.
Initiator: I declare a boner race!
(time passes)
Winner: I win! Check out that hog!
(time passes)
Winner: I win! Check out that hog!