Brett Wilshire
A very huge kid with small hands, he's full of rage and hates anyone that's of another race, even though he is of mixed races. He pretends to do P-90X and instead hops himself up on steroids. He usually takes twenty minute poops and doesn't really understand why he should wipe thoroughly. He doesn't believe in a God, but does believe in a God when he's in a sticky situation. He's been known to rape kittens and cuddle with them afterwards. One time in the mid-west, he mated with horses to try and create Minotaurs. He's the best friend you deny when others ask if you know him.
Man: "Hey, did you see that freak over there? He's such a Brett Wilshire."
Man 2: "Let's kick his ass!"
Man 2: "Let's kick his ass!"