Broken but fixed

I tried so hard - to find the perfect quote - to describe how i felt - but i couldn’t i just couldn’t - nothing can describe how it feels to be completely torn down - rebuilt - and then to have someone tear down the one that rebuilt you - then tear you down again - but still somehow feel happy inside - almost because that person is gone - the toxic impact they had on your life - it’s gone now - it should all be okay - but it wasn’t - i should’ve been okay - but i wasn’t - but it’s hard because you can’t bare to feel that pain again - but you long for that type of love again - there’s no word for that - or quote - or paragraph - there’s nothing because a pain so deep - shouldn’t exist in anyones feelings - no one deserves that type of pain - no body deserves to feel the way i felt that night