Bruce's Dick

THE SMALLEST, TEENIEST, SHORTEST MICROSCOPIC THING THE HUMAN EYE WILL EVER FUCKING SEE IN THIS ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE. HELL, THIS DICK IS SO FUCKING SMALL, MICROSCOPES CAN'T EVEN DETERMINE THAT THIS THING EVEN EXISTS. (How do we know?) WELL, IT SPREADS FUCKING HERPES, AIDS, CANCER, AND HEPATITIS C TO EVERY LIVING CREATURE IT TOUCHES. THAT'S HOW WE KNOW THIS FUCKING CANCER CELL DISEASE EXISTS. FURTHERMORE, YOU MIGHT BE ASKING WHAT WE SHOULD DO TO RID EARTH OF THIS HORRID MONSTER. HERE'S THE FUCKING SOLUTION: CHOP OFF ITS HEAD AND FEED IT TO A BUNCH OF PIGS DURING A SATANIC RITUAL. THEN BURN THEM ALL TO PREVENT THE SPREAD. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET RID OF BRUCE'S DICK. IT IS THE SMALLEST AND MOST DEADLIEST ANIMAL OUT THERE.

- With lots of love, Hailey