Butt Rations
The process by which people now use less than 20% of their normal toilet paper when wiping their ass. Toilet paper is worth more than gold (by weight) during this coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic.
"I'm going through serious butt rations right now. I'm now down to two squares per trip, and soon, I'll have to resort to Kleenex. Then napkins. Then paper towel. Then socks. Then sandpaper. Then tree bark. Then my hand. Then my other hand. And then I die."