Cakenshmoosher
A baseball bat shaped cake smashing device for use in the event that a cake achieves sentience and begins insulting you in mock-Japanese.
Person: *Cuts cake*
Cake: 痛いあなたはばかをクソ何をしている!!
Person: OH GOD!! *Grabs Cakenshmoosher* HI-YA! *SMASH*
Cake: 痛いあなたはばかをクソ何をしている!!
Person: OH GOD!! *Grabs Cakenshmoosher* HI-YA! *SMASH*