Calabasas High School

A disgustingly rich, stuck-up high school swamped with spoiled, drug addicted, and self-absorbed children. Most people at Calabasas High School are completely oblivious of their wealth and fortune. The males have highly egocentric tendencies, while the femals are always willing to exploit themselves. Calabasas also boasts one of the worst football teams in America, due to the fact that the school is almost exclusivley white. If you want your children to become cultured and world-conscious, Do NOT send them to Calabasas High School.

The most miserable school in California, possibly the entire country, or heck, maybe the entire WORLD. If you consider yourself a nice, decent person with good morals, please do yourself a favor and DO NOT set foot on the campus of this horrible institution.

The girls? More like, evil demon monster creatures. Oftentimes, their undergarments are more visible than their intelligence. And if the topic of discussion does not involve True Religion jeans, Malibu rum, or which boy has the largest schlong out of the 10 you hooked up with the other night, then it's not important.

The boys? Absolutely despicable in every sense of the word. They have no idea how to treat girls right; their hormones are raging and hence they feel the necessity to hurt as many girls as possible emotionally. I guess you can say many of the slutty Calabasas chicks bring it on themselves, but really, that's not much of an excuse. If you want to spend your days surrounded by boys who spend more time on their appearance than the girls do, then this is the perfect school for you! Some of the guys (and girls, too) at this school may be good looking, but really, since when do good looks compensate for superficiality, shallowness, and bitchiness?

The teachers? HAHA! What teachers? Some of the rudest and most inconsiderate people I have ever met in my life. They always put themselves before their students and enjoy watching the pain and agony their students must endure on a daily basis. Not to mention, I simply cannot fathom WHY half of them are making a living off of being absolutely horrible at what they do- teaching.

The sports? Double HAHA! Thanks to the excessive amounts of alcohol and marijuana and God knows what else residing in the bodies of these student "athletes", we might as well just forgo athletics altogether. Our football team wins 1 game each season (and that's just recently after a 4 season drought), our volleyball team is a pathetic joke, our soccer team should really learn how to kick a ball (FUNDAMENTALS!), and our wrestling team is too horny to focus on wrestling other men.

Many people say that the white-and-grey brick buildings of CHS resemble a prison or insane asylum, and this analogy couldn't be anymore accurate. Because that's exactly what Calabasas High School is... Prison, but with crazy people, too.

Okay so after all these terrible definitions, your thinking "Calabasas can't be that bad". Oh but it is. The food, people, teachers, curriculum, and school itself is awful. Food? Tastes like shit. People? They are shit. Teachers? Once again they are shit. Curriculum? Is shit. School? Shithole. Heredia=FUCKING BITCH FROM HELL if your reading this heredia... fuck you. The first couple weeks of CHS are great. YAY HIGH SCHOOL! But I can guarantee you will hate the fours years you go to that school. Thank God I'm leaving next year.

Probably the WORST place to end up at for high school. The school itself is located in a rich neighborhood, so what it does with all the money it brings in? NO IDEA. But it isn't spent on anything useful. The faculty there are more concerned about STAR testing results than anything else, and so they make sure to actually be there for the month of May. The school has the California Distinguished School Award, whatever the fuck that is? All the teachers care about is how the school looks to the state. Other than that, the students get to sit around and act like the fake people they are. This does apply to everyone at the school. The guys are either "jocks" (But CHS doesn't have any actual jocks because the school sucks at every sport alive, so just cocky kids who think they can do anything athletically)"ganstas" (Right, like you can be a G living in Calabasas, they are the worst) or "indie" (Kids who THINK there above Calabasas and try to act like city kids, while this just shows everyone how fake they are) The girls are all hoes, even if they try to hide it. They just want an excuse to take their shirts off. So they go to their little parties, get wasted and jump on the closest guy. At least most of the girls will admit to being Calabasas, so there not as fake. These girls are mostly Jewish princesses who wear expensive clothes and drive around with their friends in nice cars and all think they're "indie photographers." FYI: Just because you can afford nice stuff doesnt mean your any good at it. Walking onto Calabasas High, be prepared for students everywhere to tell you that they have a Nikon and their a photographer, or that they have Adobe Programs and their an editor. Both the girls and guys think there so hot, which is the main reason all Calabasas parties suck. The girls think their better than the guys, and the guys dont care what the girls think about them. So little actually goes down at the school, everyone obsesses over the little things. And word travels beyond faster at that school, because everyone needs their moment in the spotlight. Its a ridiculous school that would probably kill anyone not from Calabasas. It's just a stuck up rich public school filled with egotistical fake kids.

"Paradise," "amazing," and "best place ever" are just some of the words that come to mind when I envision this mecca of secondary education.

A beautiful place, that is manifested in the campus' aesthetics, with its dreary grey-and-white masonry, gum-spattered floors, puke-colored walls, and the delicious smell of greasy french fries that radiate from the cafeteria every lunch period.

The students here are so nice. And when they need some extra help on an exam, that's when they are at their sweetest. You will be showered with words praising your beauty, knowledge, and talent from people who genuinely love and care about you. People consider staying in on a Friday night and masturbating to be fun. Drinking and drugs are never a problem. The few drug users are shunned accordingly.

We have some of the best sports teams in California. No, actually, the USA. Have you seen our football team? Every player is on the fast-track to NCAA D-1 football, and then the NFL. Yeah, they're THAT good. Our student-athletes are so dedicated that we are reigning Marmonte League champions in every single sport, and fellow teams cower at our prowess, poise, and skill.

Our teachers are incredible. They care about each and every one of their students, so much that they have no problem giving you an A in a class when you really deserve a C.

We also have a supermodel named Cathy who patrols the campus. Seriously, it just doesn't get any better than this. Come to CHS. You'll love it.

Amazing school. 10/10 recommend sending your kids here. The people are truly amazing and the teachers care. ASB is lit and is a fun way to get involved in school. If you don't like Ciroc don't come to this school.

The Designated Spawn site for rich white kids.Your school has Toyota Camrys and Honda Civics, we have Mercedes C300s and BMW 3-Series. Ask anyone from this high school if we have seen Kim Kardashian or Travis Scott because we love letting people who don't live in Calabasas know who we have seen. We get pretty annoying about it. If you go to this school just know you are better than everyone else cuz it is what it is.