Canaids
It can only be spread by males through a random and hilarious discharge of semen projected through any clothing. Anything it comes into contact with contracts the disease. Other than the discharge, there is no symptoms for males. For females, the disease leaves and increasing sense of itchiness on limbs and an exponentially increasing urge to have raunchy sex with the nearest Canadian.
Holy shit John! What the hell! You weren't wearing protection?! You gave me Canaids!
Doctor: I'm sorry Jane, It appears that you've caught every disease known to man, and several known to monkey.
Jane: Even Canaids?!
Doctor: Especially Canaids.
Doctor: I'm sorry Jane, It appears that you've caught every disease known to man, and several known to monkey.
Jane: Even Canaids?!
Doctor: Especially Canaids.