Capin Tub Tubs

That guy that, if the world were fair, would be morbidly obese, but is instead about as thin as dental floss.

His name is derived from what everyone would refer to him as if he wasn't blessed with unprecedented supermetabolism.

His behavior is characterized by, but not limited to, eating an entire gallon of ice cream while sitting on his ass and watching TV; eating 3 bags of Doritos while sitting on his ass and watching TV; drinking several cans of Mountain Dew: Code Red while sitting on his ass and watching TV; being blinded by unwashed hair while sitting on his ass and watching TV; smoking a bowl or two while sitting on his and watching TV; and making fun of fat people while sitting on his ass and playing WoW. Seriously, anyone else would have had several heart attacks, a stroke, and colon cancer by now.

While you go to the gym, eat healthy, and play sports to obtain a good body, a Capin Tub Tubs plays WoW, ingests nothing but saturated fats, trans fats, and high fructose corn syrup, and sits around the house all day and yet manages to weigh even less than you do, despite having the same body frame.

Everyone knows at least one Capin Tub Tubs