Carpetneck
Any incompetent individual that often fails to complete easy tasks. These people are deserving of a nice slap on the neck whenever they do something stupid. The slap will leave a welt, making their neck hairs stand up, which makes it fuzzy like a carpet.
"Timmy burnt the popcorn, what a carpetneck"
"You gave us the wrong directions you damn carpetneck"
"You gave us the wrong directions you damn carpetneck"