centenary college

A small Methodist college in the heart of Hackettstown, New Jersey. The food sucks, the students are culturally naïve, and most everyone goes home on weekends. Professors are required to take attendance and fail anyone with more than four absences. The credit system changes every semester to throw everyone off. Parties start at 5 pm and get busted left and right by the crazy pigs before midnight. Every guy is either very unattractive or taken. The girls are bitches. Applebees and Walmart are the only hangouts in the area. Last but not least, there is one frat and one sorority – the frat is for black guys and the sorority is for fat chicks.

A mammoth college that dominates the town of Hackettstown NJ. The food rocks, the students are true global citizens (global Mondays anyone?), and everyone parties on the weekend. Professors are chill and class sizes are small. They try to help everyone work to their potential. Our credit system is awesome and makes registration and choosing classes a breeze. Parties start at 5pm and go till 5am without interruption by the fuzz – provided you are not stupid enough to puke or piss in the hallway in front of your RA’s door. We run a naked 5k marathon every year to send our beerpong team to the national competition. Gas leaks can typically cancel your class and we have snow days clear until May. We have two liquor stores (one within walking distance). All of our male students are athletic, handsome, intelligent, wealthy, well endowed and true renaissance men. Our females are numerous, bright, funny, and are anything but bitchy – they have great racks too. Applebee’s and Wal-Mart are present (like any college town) but the real hangouts for cool people who “know” Hackettstown are Charlie browns, bar 46, the HUB, and the cocktail room at the trump plaza. Our culture of brotherhood and sisterhood are so strong that we only have one frat and one sorority – there is no need for more when everyone gets along so well. The frat is a multicultural (not just black) group of the finest males in NJ. As for the sorority – If you’re in Peith raise your hand, if your not, raise your standards. Last but not least our mascot is a cyclone because we blow the competition away!

The last definition is ridiculous, I basically peed myself. Way to awesomely prove me wrong... Centenary College is the bomb diggity.

A school where all the ugliest girls and the socially awkward attend in hopes of one day being accepted by their just as ugly peers