certified abstinence instructor
A life-calling for a precious few, incredibly optimistic individuals who think that it's actually possible to bridle the massive force of copulation using reason, logic, gods wrath, consequence or any other easy to ignore methodology.
I'm a certified abstinence instructor; das right! I don't care how worked up their loins be ge'in, a few pictures of god's herpes curse will shrink that hard-on faster than a busted cherry on prom-nite.