Chai Teabag

This is a spin on the classic teabag. It does, however, involve a little more time and preparation. The following ingredients are required: one nutsack; one turd, a load of semen and a snippet of pubic hair. First, slather your nutsack in excrement. Please allow 10 to 15 minutes to set. While waiting for the excrement to encrust your balls, vigorously masturbate into a martini glass. Once you have busted, take a pair a scissors and carefully remove 10 to 15 pubic hairs. Drop the pubic hairs into the martini glass filled with semen, making sure to mix everything together. Then, carefully dip your shit-encrusted testicles into the martini glass. Once you have done this, proceed to the nearest sleeping victim and roll your horrifying nutsack all over his or her face.