chalga

Chalga is a noise peaty similar to the noise that an old farmer makes after consuming a gallon of Rakia combined with the popular village meal – Bean with weenie. The recipe of that meal is known only by the most enlightened and noble villagers such as Granma Pena, Aunty Guna etc. One of the main ingredients of that meal is garlic (don’t ask me how I got to this). So, the combination of that food, drink and the old fat farmer is equal to the chalga singer and those noises that I mentioned earlier. The only difference is that when the farmer opens his mouth to share the noise with the world, is with a smell of death weasels and when the chalga singer opens her mouth the smell is like a, lets say, a mixture of a drunken lad’s copulating organ and fake perfume “Prada” bought from the popular perfume maker Hasan who owns a store at the “Ilienci” mall.
The look of a chalga singer is very complicated mix of silicon, enormous quantity of make up and lest not forget the main thing – the black thong worn under a white trouser or skirt (depend on the stage that the singer performs its noise) and a red brassiere (most of the time 2-3 times smaller that the breast size) hiding only the nipples of the singer.
*Fans of that music are necessary to have the following items: WV Golf 2 (black with PK registration plate), chain from the flusher of the WC stolen from his grandmothers flat in Fakulteta and worn on the neck, white towel socks, flip floppers Abidas, trainer pans (called Anzung), black lather jacket and wet thank with undefined colour and origin. It is also essential to have at least one fake golden tooth.

*The above definition varies depending on the region, nationality and age of the person.

Chalga is a bulgarian style, first meant to be only limited to the music but then grown to a whole movement in the social life of Bulgaria. The main traits of the calga are the following:
- lack of inteligence
- peasant origin (not really necessary)
- whore type dress style (for women) and "big necklaces, cheap sport's wear, white socks and black shoes" (for men)

Well known names from the CHALGA industry are: KONDIO CIGANINA TUP, MARA OTVARIACHKATA, GERGANA the SILICONE and many others.

In fact, the last years the CHALGA replaced the porno industry, forbidden in Bulgaria. The women who would like to become a CHALGA singer should go through several tests of their sexual capacities. Just after being sleeping with 2 producers, 1 CEO, 2 high level criminals, 7 low level criminals, 4 shopassistants (generally in butcher's shop) and 12 neigbours they are titled "APPRENTICE CHALGA SINGER"

In general to become a CHALGA SINGER there is also an "lack of intelligence test" with those 3 questions:
1. 2+2=?
2. What is the first name of Todor Jivkoff
3. Name one river starting with "D" and finishing with "unav"

If you have more than one correct answer you are expeled for good from the CHALGA society.

A word designating a kind of crappy Bulgarian sound that is based on pop and unintelligently (i.e. half-idiotically) manipulated ethno elements, and that pretends to be music, but cannot be farther away from it thanks to the zero artistic value it has. Singers are usually blond brainless girls with artifically enlarged lips and breasts (full of silicon) in order to hopelessly compensate for the lack of voice and artistic sense.

Imagine a horse. Imagine the heap of horse-shits.
Are you with me?
Now, imagine the worm inside the horse-shits which is eating them (intestinal worm). Now, imagine the shits of that worm.
So, that bloody heap of smelly worm shits is chalga.
In other words, chalga is extracted shit from all dirt in the World.
God bless all who are not in Bulgaria and those that don’t know what is this chalga. Fucking chalga is everywhere in Bulgaria.

Catchy music because of the same beat being repeated over and over again. Sung in bulgarian but the melody is usually turkish. The sluts who sing it have probably spent there life savings on plactic surgery and were probably drunk when they decided to be chalgagiki

chalga...the very word should strike fear into the heart of every single rationally thinking individual.chalga is the most popular music in Bulgaria and is a mixture of various oriental elements combined with a simple,shallow melody and an even more simple beat.all of this is unified by a really superficial,impotent,dull or just plain stupid text which inspires mainly the sexual,vulgar and material part of society.chalga numbs the mind,rendering all human senses simple and decadent.it corodes your brain like a fuckin' desease and eats up everything inside until only dreams of Mercedes,cash nad whores are left.it provokes a decadent and self-destructive lifestyle-people who listen to chalga are often more open to drugs,alcohol and mindless violence.male singers dress as lowlifes,female ones even more so until they look like some prostitute you can see on the red lights district in Amsterdam.chalga fuckin' sucks and is the most low and meaningless form of expressing yourself through music.fuck that it's not even music.it's just a way for dumb sons-of-bitches to take the money of even dumber sons-of-bitches.end.

Chalga is mostly common in Bulgaria.The best music for rejects who like cheap achohol.To be a chalga singer you need to have:
gigantic breasts
awful voice
no brain
making sex and adventure
wearing clothes so tight your going almost naked