Chasterbate

"I was horney as hell but the wife was having none-of-it so
I decided to surreptitiously chasterbate after I thought she
was asleep."

"It is my opinion that chasterbation and T.V. watching are
closely related activities."

"The inventor of Chasterbatory toys would make a fortune
selling them for use at sperm banks and other places where
the clinical production of fresh sperm samples is required."

You chasterbated in your room because you like me.