Chris George

To be a wealthy religious person who acts as if Jesus' teachings were to take from the poor, crush non-believers and disparagingly insult anyone and everyone who thinks otherwise.

The man, the myth, the Columbian Pussy Hound! Chris is a loyal friend with tons of integrity who goes above and beyond for people. When he's not busy being the Big Columbo, he can be found in awkward sexual encounters. If cornered, he can wind up saying "fuck it," running out naked, and shaking his junk in front of his current flavors friend. He's been known to go on dates where the table next to him, that he may or may not personally know, is talking about necrophilia. If you find yourself on a date with Chris, whatever you do, make sure you eat the lobster roll that you ordered!