christmasturbation
When one buys presents for oneself and not for family and friends.
Yeah, I partake in Christmasturbation at least three times a season. I'm addicted to Apple products, what can I say?
Christmasturbator
One who gives a gift of semen, unbeknownst to the receiver. Oftentimes the receiver believes it to be lotion wrapped in an unusual receptacle.
Jill: "Thanks for the wonderful gift. What is this, lotion!?!"
Tad: "Who in their right mind would give someone a gift of lotion in a tube sock?"
Jill: "Tad, you are such a Christmasturbator!"
Tad: "Who in their right mind would give someone a gift of lotion in a tube sock?"
Jill: "Tad, you are such a Christmasturbator!"